Okay. Big sigh. Even though Fahlin’s heart cath looms next week, she actually started back to school today. Yesterday, Yolanda took her by to take her books back and to get reacquainted with her teachers and class and, yes, as you may have surmised, that did not go well. Prior to going, huuuuuge meltdown. So much so that Yo (my pet name for my wonderful wife with the outstanding parenting skills) actually lifted her and carried her out to the car. When she arrived, head was down, no eye contact, fought back both tears and smiles. Thankfully, her first-grade teacher saw her, hugged her and loved on her. That made all the difference.
Fast forward to today. Here is a direct quote from my wife’s text this morning, “…has been dropped off. No tears, smiling a little.” Later in the day, we got a text from her teacher. Fahlin was playing with friends and smiling. Yes, smiling. Kinda what we thought, once she got there she would be okay. When she got off the bus, more smiles. When she got home, a bit grumpy for a few minutes, but a popsicle cured that.
So, between surgery being moved three times eight weeks ago, finally HAVING surgery, recovery, heart cath being rescheduled three times, school starting back, Mom starting back to work, anxiety, post-traumatic stress syndrome, sleeping between two parents every night because someone is all of a sudden afraid of the dark and a general feeling of uncertainty, Fahlin is finally easing back into a life of routine.
You know, as I think about this I realize that it is no wonder I’m exhausted. It doesn’t seem like I am until I stop. STOP. This happens about every three weeks for me. Once I sit down, it’s like a wave of tired-ness hits me. I want to take a nap…I NEVER take naps. They make me feel yucky.
I was reading a devotional about how God places a ‘Mantel’ on us, like Abraham, Peter, even Jesus. Scholars tell us the Mantel was always too big because the Mantel is not designed to fit the person we are, but rather, the person we are to become. I have been chewing on that ever since I read it. I do know this. In our chaotic and uncertain life, God is in control. I know that is somewhat of a Christian cliché, but if there is one thing I have learned in this life is that, cliché or not, God truly is in control. Of the scheduling? Yes. Of surgical outcomes? Yes. Of those ‘God moments? Yes. Of miracles? Yes. Absolutely. Of circumstance? Yes. Of our Mantel? Yes.